Joey & Carla Link
November 15, 2017
There were many times in our parenting journey when we were discouraged and wondered how we could teach on parenting. I specifically remember the time we walked into our host’s home before we were teaching in their church and one of the first things I asked was, “Do you have a room my daughter could sit in to get her attitude straight?”
It took them by surprise but they took me to a bedroom where she could sit in private until she was willing to apologize for her bad attitude. Embarrassing? Yes. Our daughter whined we were embarrassing her. We told her that her sin was embarrassing her and we had nothing to do with it because while still in the van before we reached our destination she had all the time in the world to get her attitude straightened out. It never occurred to her she was embarrassing her family with her sin.
The times we felt like failures as parents were tough, but we trusted in the Biblical principles and the practical insight God had given us because we had seen how they truly changed our kids behavior but we wanted more, we wanted their hearts.
Recently I came across a quote by a famous athlete that encouraged me. “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan, 10 time NBA scoring champ and 6 championship titles with the Chicago Bulls
What Michael Jordan was saying is failure teaches us about life and shows us where we can do better. There isn’t a part of life this doesn’t apply to, and parenting is certainly included in that. We fail as parents to do our best when training our children and they fail at listening and positively responding to our direction. Learning from failure and working through it is called perseverance.
Many of you know we were in a horrific car accident 13 ago that has left me (Carla) in a wheelchair. I deal with pain from a nerve injury sustained in the accident every single day. Persevering through pain gives me hope. Why? Because I know with God’s help and sustaining grace I can endure it, and I am stronger mentally for it.
If you are going through a difficult time in your life’s circumstances or parenting, do not ever forget there is always hope. You may have to buckle down and weather the storm as many do physically through wild fires, hurricanes and tornadoes.
When it is time to buckle down the hatches or evacuate, when you’ve gotten through the crisis point, unfortunately things are not the same and you have to regroup and rebuild whether that means finding a new house to replace the one burned or to re-train your kids.
Where is hope in all of this? God always surrounds you with the resources you need to give you a helping hand. In parenting, you can turn to parents who have gone through similar crises and are stronger for it. You can take a parenting class that will encourage and inspire you. Growing Families Int’l has the best parenting curriculum around. We are available to help parents figure out the next step in their parenting or direct you to someone who can.
If you ever feel like a failure in your parenting, be encouraged because every parent has been there and will be again! We have 42 Mom’s Notes presentations that give you practical help in your parenting specific to a certain topic. They are based on our failures as parents and how we learned to train our children through them. We are taping a new one on self-control this fall!
When you have fully recovered from a period of testing, I guarantee you God will bring someone into your life who needs to learn from your experience because they are struggling with something similar. Be ready to be the resource God has ready for them.
Paul said this in 2 Corinthians 1:3-5
“Blessed be the God…and Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God…”
Going back to our illustration of Michael Jordan’s career, we see his accomplishments, but we didn’t see the hours he spent in the gym shooting the same shots over and over and over again. Hang in there. Your kids are willing to wait you out until you give in. It’s time to be the one waiting them out until they give in.
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”