The Dating Question
Joey and Carla Link
February 5, 2020
It was surprising one day when our son who was in the second grade had a phone call from a girl inviting him to go roller skating with her. We knew there was a couple’s dance during the event where they would hold hands and skate around.We were pretty sure this was her plan in getting him to commit to “going together”. You read that right – second grade. They were 7 years old!
Are you ready for when your child gets asked out on a date or when your son or daughter wants to start dating? We don’t think any Christian parent truly is.
When it comes to dating, do you have guidelines or a plan to work from? Or do you think you will wait and deal with it when the time comes? We have found that most parents have expectations of what their kids will or won’t do when they are on a date, but they have not articulated it to their kids (or themselves) before they get hit up by their kids with the big question, “So, can I go?”
When I (Joey) was a youth pastor, I started working on how to help teens and college kids have confident dating experiences when I saw how frustrated they were in their lack of understanding about the dating experience. I was surprised to find these teens didn’t feel comfortable talking with their parents about dating, even though one day they would want to bring “that special one” home to meet their parents.
All this is why we put together a 2-part video with a 50 page workbook titled “Dating, Courting & Choosing a Mate, What Works?” Filmed before an audience of parents and teens, it’s designed to help both groups get on the same philosophical and practical page of what would work for them in their dating experience.
I remember when our son was interested in a girl that grew up in a strong Christian family who had a very different dating philosophy than we did. It was challenging to work through the different viewpoints to get to agreeable standards that would work for both families. While in this process, our son decided the differences were too great and the dating relationship ended soon after.
We have heard from many families over the years how this 2 part video series helped them think through both courting and dating in a whole new way. Many have said they were thankful to see the differences in the differing standards families could have and how confusing it can be to see that since the Bible doesn’t have a lot to say about dating itself, there is no right or wrong philosophy. These families have told us this resource helped them find their own dating philosophy that would work for their families.
One Dad wrote us the following note after going through the session because his ten daughters were being asked out.
“My wife and I were having trouble figuring out how to give our kids an overall picture of dating. Joey and Carla gave us a grounded, logical approach that goes way beyond just teaching them the importance of remaining pure. “Dating, Courting & Choosing a Mate, What Works?” shares 4 levels of getting to know the opposite sex and how your teens can determine what each level should look like in the relationship they are in, looking to us for guidance along the way. My wife and I appreciate understanding how we and our teens can work together to make wise decisions regarding who their life-mate will be.”
Whether you use this teaching or not, we hope you will get prepared with a blueprint for the framework you want to use when your kids get to be teenagers. You will want to be ready to help them learn how to go through the process of finding a life mate that will help them live for Christ and bring glory to God through both their dating and marriage relationship. The day will come when they come to you and say “So, can I go?”