- Parents need to teach their kids to accept their siblings, friends and peers whether they agree with them or not. Why do others have to change? The only person God asks you to change is yourself. Everyone was created by God, uniquely as they are, no matter what race they are, or what their opinions and feelings are. Ultimately, by not accepting others as they are, we are rejecting how God made them. If they need to change, that is God’s job and He will take care of it. God uses parents to work on training/changing their kids.
- When God crosses your path with other ethnic families who have similar values, set up play dates or go to the park with them so your kids can learn to play together.
- Accepting others in public. When you take your kids shopping and you walk by a person of a different race, say hi to them, smile at them and teach your kids to do the same. A friendly smile or greeting can brighten someone’s day in ways you will never know.
- Build friendships with other cultured and diverse people and encourage your kids to as well. We have a family friend who is African-American. He lives 2,000 miles away from us. We have stayed in touch over the years because of our common faith and interests. When our daughter Amy met him, she was about 4 years old. We were all excited to see him as it had been several years since we had connected in person. We all jumped out of the van when we got to his house and the kids were excitedly yelling his name. Amy looked up to hug him, froze and started backing up to me. Our friend remarked that we didn’t have enough “color” in Iowa. As the visit went on, because we trusted him, she began to trust him too. There are a lot of African-Americans you didn’t see on the TV last weekend rioting, looting stores and causing incredible damage and violence. Don’t be afraid of all because of the actions of some.
He’s a warm-hearted person who’ll love me to the end
People let me tell you ’bout my best friend
He’s a one-boy, cuddly toy
My up, my down, my pride and joy
Whether we’re talkin’ man to man
Or whether we’re talkin’ son to son
‘Cuz he’s my best friend
“Me, Me, Me!” Kids
Joey & Carla Link
May 20, 2020
- Your children have to play a game they don’t want to play and they sulk, pout, and complain throughout the entire game.
- Your kids don’t appreciate the meal you made for dinner. They demand what they want to eat and refuse to eat at all if they don’t get it.
- One of your kids doesn’t like the movie someone else in the family chose to watch and even though it was their sibling’s turn to choose, this kid tries to talk him into watching the one he wants.
- 3 Good Things – From the time our kids started public elementary school, Carla would ask them on the walk home to tell her about their day. Most of what they said was always negative. So she told our kids they had to tell her 3 good things that had happened that day before they could tell her anything negative.
Our kids got into the habit of sharing 3 good things and they did so all through their school years including high school. We started asking them for 3 good things that happened after any event they went to as well. Often, after they shared the good things the bad things didn’t seem so important to them anymore.
- Others First – Both our moms used to say, “When your friends come over and they don’t want to play what you want to play, as guests in your house they get to choose.” That is just the way it was when we were growing up.
3 questions to put others first: When our kids were being selfish in their interactions with their siblings or us, we would ask them this question: “Who are you thinking of right now?” They had to reply they were thinking of themselves. We followed that up with “Who should you be thinking of right now?” Their response would be the person they weren’t being kind to. Our next question was, “What can you do to show him you are thinking of him before yourself?” If they couldn’t come up with something they could do, they had to sit and think about it until they could. These questions backed them into a corner they could not squeeze out of.
At dinner each night, go around the table and have each person share one way they thought of someone else more than themselves that day. If your kids can’t come up with anything you can share something you might have noticed they did for one of their siblings. If Dad is consistent about asking each night, your kids will start to do things for others just so they will have something to share!
Teaching Kids to be Patient
If you tell your kids to be patient, what exactly are you asking them to do? It is defined in the Oxford Dictionary as “the capacity to accept or tolerate delay without getting angry or upset.“ So if you promise your children you are going to a waterpark this weekend and your husband gets called in to work, this definition says if they are patient your kids will accept the delay without getting upset or angry.
To be patient takes self-control. So why are you expecting your kids who aren’t consistent in showing self-control to be patient? Teaching your child to have self-control is a building block in the foundation of teaching them to wait. Patience is “waiting” and that is how to describe it and refer to it to young children.
How can parents teach kids to learn to wait? Here are 3 key ways to accomplish this.
1. Use opportunities that occur during the day to teach them what “waiting” looks like. When you are getting ready to go somewhere, this is a great time to teach patience. Ask them to get their shoes on and wait by the door. Ask them to tell you what “waiting” looks like. Then ask them if you can trust them to wait in the way they just described to you.
2. Use tasks and skills to teach them nothing comes easy. I (Carla) taught piano for many years. I would warn parents of beginning students if their child couldn’t play their assigned songs right away they would ask to quit lessons. Patience is necessary to learn to play an instrument, a sport or learn any academic subject because many steps have to be learned well to produce the desired result. Learning patience in tasks and skills is key to a child’s emotional growth.
3. Use chores and homework to teach them to take the time to do it right. Once you tell your kids how you want the chore done, if they didn’t do it right or completely, instead of lecturing them, tell them to sit to get their heart right. When they come to you to apologize, to make it right they should be willing to do the chore or schoolwork correctly, with a good attitude. After the chore/schoolwork is done correctly, give them the consequence of doing more chores during their free time that day.
In Galatians 5:22-23 patience is listed as a fruit of the Spirit of God. This means when you and/or your child are working on it you can always pray and ask God to help you wait. Ultimately, the biggest reason everyone needs to learn patience is so we will be able to wait on God for His timing which is rarely our timing.