Dating, Courting and Choosing a Mate…What Works?

Testimonies

By Teens, Young Adults

& Parents

The material in this booklet sounds good, but does it work? We asked teens, young adults and parents from across the country who we know have used this material to share their testimony with you. We hope they will encourage you to give “Friendship Dating” a try.

“It is in fact possible, to build a God-centered dating relationship in today’s world. I believe this is the message and purpose behind friendship dating.

In today’s society, dating generally consists of half-hearted commitments based on fuzzy warm feelings and hopping into bed together within the first few dates. People tend to keep moving from relationship to relationship in search of “the one” as they continually place broken heart after broken heart on a shelf. Obviously, that won’t do.

Nor am I an advocate for courtship. My picture of courtship is of my significant other and myself sitting on opposite sides of a couch with our parents, Jesus and all twelve disciples in between, ensuring we don’t have any physical contact, private talks, or alone time.

So where is the balance? Before my boyfriend and I (now my husband) started dating two years ago, we independently had multiple discussions with our parents. During these conversations, we had a chance to express our intentions, listen to their advice and answer their questions.

My parents took me out to dinner and we went through the Link’s friendship dating book. This helped give me a more comprehensive view of the different aspects involved in a serious relationship such as spiritual, emotional, physical and social and how to keep them balanced. Rather than laying down their own rules on me, my parents asked me deep, probing questions to really figure out what my standards and beliefs were.

By our parents choosing to trust us to implement our own rules and standards for our relationship, we have taken on this responsibility and made it our own. This has grown and matured us in so many ways! If this relationship was structured around our parent’s rules, there is a very likely chance that we would have snuck around to find loopholes in the rules and broken them, whether outright or in secret. Instead, we strived to stick to our boundaries and expectations in order to respect the other person with the goal of building a Christ- centered relationship.

Has friendship dating actually worked to provide a balance between the world’s view of dating and strict courtship? Yes, it has for us! I / we highly recommend this teaching to everyone.”

Married couple in Iowa

“Several years ago I had the pleasure of listening to Joey and Carla Link speak on the topic of courtship and dating. At the time our children were young and dating or courtship seemed far off. However, I felt the need to start gathering information ahead of time, in an effort to be prepared for the day one of our children would come to us and say they wanted to date. When that moment arrived when our daughter was asked to the prom, we pulled out the Link’s presentation on “Dating, Courting and Choosing a Mate, What Works?” My husband and I went through it together on a date and developed a plan for our kids and dating. It wasn’t as if we had never before discussed with one another the possibility of our children dating. But when they wanted to start, we needed a review to be proactive vs. responding to what we didn’t like. After 2½ years of dating, our daughter is married to a wonderful guy and they are doing great based on the teaching we received from Joey and Carla and would encourage every parent to go through it as well as any young adults interested in dating in the near future.”