ARE YOU RAISING a DEMOCRATIC FAMILY?
Joey and Carla Link
Are you a democratic parent? I saw one at a fast food restaurant for lunch recently. A parent took their kids to McDonalds for lunch and they stood at the counter and the mom asked her 4 year old son if he wanted a happy meal? He said yes, of course, because he wants the toy in it. So, when mom is asking what kind of happy meal, he has no idea. Does a 4 year old really know what he needs-chicken or hamburger? Fries or fruit? Pop, milk or juice?
The 4 year old is thinking of his sweet tooth and mom should be thinking of how many sweets he’s had and what is coming the rest of the day. Giving kids too many choices at such an early age can be called democratic parenting and it ends up training the parents to give more choices to their kids, usually ones they don’t have enough knowledge or maturity to make the best decision about.
What’s a parent to do? Make decisions for your child of what is best for them, until they are old enough and mature enough to make wise choices. Making choices for your kids until they have the maturity or responsibility to make good choices is being a responsible parent.
Why are parents afraid of making decisions for their kids that leads to giving them so many choices? 2 reasons: First, because the parent thinks it will solve their kids attitude issues when they say “I don’t want that” or “I don’t like that”. These are really training opportunities to help you child learn to be content with what they are given. Paul said it this way in Phil 4:11-12 “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances… whether well fed or hungry…”
Second, the reason most parents are not able to use this as a training time is because they have other kids to deal with and they are looking at this as a break time from the busy activities that took them out to eat. Or just to get them into the play area so they can stop and just relax or catch up on the messages on their phone
Democratic families are created by parents asking to many questions at too early of an age, with no foundation to make a right choice from. Self-focused, non-involved kids in a family are developed by kids not having to answer honest personal in-depth questions to show parents what their kids are really thinking.
Are you giving your kids to many freedoms too early in life by asking them to make decisions on things they are not mature or responsible enough to make wise choices? Teaching kids to think is a challenge but a great training opportunity for all of life!
If you want more information about freedoms check out our presentation: Understanding Freedoms Part 1 and 2.
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