What is on Your Finger?
Joey and Carla Link
February 8, 2017
Has your child ever looked at the wedding ring on your finger? Do you have a toddler who holds your hand while waiting for something and starts playing with it? It doesn’t take long for kids to realize that ring means you are married to their mommy/daddy. Have you ever explained to your middle school age child what that ring means and why you wear it?
In today’s world, where marriage and commitment mean less and less and the LGBT is not only becoming more and more accepted as a normal lifestyle but it is talked about in public elementary schools and kids are coming “out” in bigger numbers, biblical marriage is no longer the only definition of marriage anymore.
Your wedding ring is a terrific symbol to use to teach your kids what marital love is as well as what you believe about marriage and alternative marriage lifestyles. Telling your kids what you believe and why is not a onetime event, it needs to be taught in various ways over and over and over throughout the years.
I (Joey) started teaching about dating when I was a youth pastor in Southern California. Although it has been available in CD audio format for a while, we have finally put this material on a DVD. In our “Dating, Courting and Choosing a Mate, What Works?” DVD and audio teaching, we encourage parents to take their kids out before they start dating and having a “ring talk”. This is a time to pull from all the teaching and reminders you have given them over the years and ask them for a commitment to stay sexually pure until their wedding night. We had each of our kids (when it was their turn for this talk) dress up and we took them to a “nice” restaurant for a special night with us. After we talked with them, we gave each of them a ring.
A ring is like a symbol mentioned in Deuteronomy 6:8, “Tie them as symbols on your hands.” It is a reminder to not only fear the Lord, but to also remind us how to live for God with every part of our lives. Our three kids each chose a different way to give the ring back on their wedding day. Well, I didn’t get my son’s back, his wife wanted it so he gave it to her, and that was good enough for me! I knew they had indeed been faithful to their vow of purity before marriage.
When our first grandchild was born to our son Michael and his wife Rachael, our daughter Amy, a professional photographer who loves taking pictures of babies took a picture that has been overwhelming to me. They took both their purity rings that had their names on them and placed them on the big toes of our grandson’s feet while he was laying in the bassinet in the hospital. It’s a symbol of their love and commitment that bore him out of a pure and holy relationship that they had and will pass on to him as he grows up.
How are you passing on what you believe about Christian marriage versus today’s alternative lifestyles? It’s one thing to say “that is not what we believe” but parents today need to educate their kids and explain to them why God and you believe it’s wrong and share the blessing of waiting. How are you going to communicate what you believe to your kids and help them find a mate for life that shares Godly values and beliefs? Our new “Dating, Courting and Choosing a Mate, What Works?” DVD and booklet can be a helpful tool to teach your kids what you believe as well as help them work through a dating philosophy to use to find their soul mate. The end of the booklet has many testimonies from young people who have used this teaching and are thankful they did.