Joey & Carla Link
July 9, 2025
“Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs 22:6
Parents hang on to this verse from Proverbs, hoping and praying their kids will “not depart” from the spiritual, emotional, physical and social training they give them as they are growing up. “I’ve taken my kids to church their entire lives. I’ve trained them the way they should go. So why is my son so rebellious?” “My daughter took up with the wrong boy and now she is pregnant. I took her to church, we are good Christians. What happened?” are questions we often get.
We know what happened. The mom with the rebellious son is dealing with a strong-willed choleric that she has never been able to bring under control so she can teach him self-control. The girl who got pregnant in high school had a dad who was too busy with work projects to spend time with his kids, a mom who was a perfectionist and therefore had unrealistic expectations of her kids and this daughter with the Sanguine temperament looked outside the home for what she thought she needed, “I need to feel loved and be held and cuddled.”
Each one of our children have a “bent”, a way to go that God has given them to be who He wants them to be so they can do what He wants them to do. This “bent”, or temperament is given to each of us by God at birth. It does not change. It may look different depending on circumstances, but it does not change and when things settle down, one’s temperament will go back to the one they were born with.
What’s a temprerament? A temperament is a way to give definition to one’s strengths and weaknesses. It’s also known as the Type A Personality, the DISC, and if you have read the wonderful book “The Treasure Tree”, the four temperaments are portrayed by the beaver, otter, lion, and golden retriever.
Why is it important to know the “bent” of you, your spouse and each of your kids? Without this knowledge, you will not have the perspective that will greatly help you in understanding why each of you act the way you do. Each of the temperaments respond differently to things they are confronted or challenged with, so understanding why your kids act this way is important knowledge parents should have.
When we train our kids according to “the way they should go,” or their “bent”, they will recognize how God made them and will see where they fit into His plan. The word bent means “someone who is determined to take a specific course of action, a knack or aptitude for doing something a certain way.”
When God designed each of your children while they were in your or someone else’s womb, He put together their temperament blend, giving each of your kids specific spiritual gifts, talents, and so forth, all parts which make your child unique. As parents, it is our job to watch for these as our children develop and mature. To begin to get to know your child’s bent or “the way they should go,” gives you insight into how they think, feel and act.
We wrote a 4-part video series on the Temperaments titled, “How Temperaments Impact You, Your Spouse & Your Kids”. We will be teaching this class via Zoom on Thursday nights, September 11th, 18th, 25th and October 2nd. You can find out more information about the class including the registration form here.
We hope to see you there!
Buy Why Can’t I Get My Kids to Behave and Taming the Lecture Bug and Getting Your Kids to Think by Joey & Carla and you’ll receive What Every Child Should Know Along the Way free! It will automatically be added to your order when it ships.
