Joey and Carla Link
September 17, 2025
“Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.”
Ephesians 6:1
What child raised in a Christian home hasn’t heard this verse multiple times throughout their lives? Ours certainly did. When you are talking about authority, obedience becomes part of the conversation because you can’t have one without the other. The Oxford Dictionary describes “authority” as, “The power or right to give orders, make decisions, and enforce obedience.” This definition doesn’t really leave a lot of room for maneuvering around it, does it?
The definition for authority can seem pretty harsh. To have someone give you orders, make decisions for you and then force you to do them is a hard reality for all of us, including our kids. Why did God establish authority? Because without it we all would be giving orders, making decisions for others and forcing them to do things that we have no right to demand of them and chaos ensues. So, whenever you have a group of people together, someone is in charge, and it doesn’t work to have two people in charge because they will fight each other for control.
This is why, when God is talking about the group of people called a family, He first established the marriage relationship with the husband being the one in charge.
“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting to the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.”
Colossians 3:18-19
So, in a marriage relationship, the husband is the leader and the wife his #1 follower. This brings us to what this looks like for wives. To “submit”, means to “accept or yield to a superior force or to the authority or will of another person.” In our relationship, Carla and I both are strong people, yet our strengths are in different areas. We work with each other, depending on each other’s strengths to balance out each other’s weaknesses.
We talk about everything, and I would never consider making an important decision without her advice. When we can’t come to agreement or find a compromise that works for both of us, she follows my lead, accepting my choice and yielding to me, willingly, and with a good attitude. I am especially appreciative that when I fail or my decision turned out to be a poor one, she never says “I told you so”. Together, we pick up the pieces and start over again. That’s what headship and submission look like for us over our 40+ years of marriage.
“Submit yourselves therefore to God.
Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.“
James 4:7
Have you listened to these Mom’s Notes presentations?
Have you ever felt like you can’t get on the same parenting page with your spouse? One of you is most likely permissive in the way you parent your children and one of you is most likely legalistic. Those two are opposites and will undermine each other in action. This session discusses what wives wish their husbands understood about their role as moms, what husbands wish their wives understood about their roles as dads and gives ways to bring spouses together so they can bring unity to their family.
This presentation discusses ways for parents to know if their child is ready to transition from “The Discipline Years (0-5 yrs.)” to the second phase of parenting – “The Training Years (6-10 yrs.)”. In addition, it discusses necessary components of the role of the parent as the primary trainer in a child’s life, including the parent as the “Leader/Director”, “Bender/Prune”’, “Instructor/Teacher”, and as the “Former of Habits”.
Parenting Made Practical Podcasts
#93 Lack of Conflict is Not Peace in Parenting
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podcast app to listen!