Joey & Carla Link
August 20, 2025
Moms frequently tell us they intend to catch up on things during the summer. Amongst these things they say they are behind in is training their children, which gets away from parents with the busyness of life. Unfortunately, it tends to “get away” during the summer months too. If you are feeling this way, we want to give you a boost of encouragement to get back on track as the new school year is starting.
First, keep your training ‘to-do’ list narrowed down to working on one thing at a time. I used to make a list of three things I wanted to work on with each of my children. We would actively work on the first item. The 2nd item was what we had been working on, but had seen significant improvement in. However, if they started sliding in that area, seeing it on paper was a good reminder for me to give consequences for it again so our kids knew they still had to keep that standard going. The 3rd item was just there as a reminder to me we would get around to it eventually.
Do you have a plan to train your children? Do you even have a firm idea in your mind of what ‘training’ entails?
There are three steps to training:
1) You have to impart knowledge – Your kids need to know why this is important to you and God and why it needs to be important to them. Kids don’t retain lectures. Come up with creative ways (I know, this takes time!) to teach them the moral character traits that will serve your kids their entire lives.
2) Knowledge alone will not motivate children to work on a character trait. They need the practical application that goes with the knowledge. In other words, they need to know how to do what you are teaching them. You tell your 3-yr old to be kind to her brother. Do you think she really knows what “be kind” looks like? Instead, ask her to give you one way she could show kindness to her brother. These types of questions will show you what truly is in the heart of your child.
3) Children need motivation to follow through with putting what you are teaching them into practice.“Motivation” has two sides; the first is to praise them when they do what you are working on with them, such as showing patience. Another part of this side is to encourage your kids, which means to “give courage to.” If they are struggling with a school project or trying to do something new, a word of encouragement from you goes a long, long way.
The second side is “consequences”. Before you start working on a character trait with your child, have in mind what appropriate consequences can be applied when he chooses not to follow through with doing it.
Knowledge, application and praise/encouragement or consequences are the steps to effectively train your children, and all are required. How often do your kids come when you call their name? If it is not better than 75%, then put that at the top of your list to work on. How often do they do what you tell them to do without arguing with you or complaining? If it is less than 75%, put that on your list to work on. These are obedience issus and should be worked on first. Sit down with your spouse and come up with a list of three things for each of your children that needs work.
Think in terms of character traits. Don’t put down you want to teach them to remember to do their chores. Put down you want to teach them responsibility. That is thinking in terms of character traits.
Now that we can look back at our parenting years, we would rate the time we took to proactively train our children in Godly character as one of the best things we did. All 3 of them love the Lord. It really doesn’t get better than that!
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23
Have you listened to these Mom’s Notes presentations?
“Understanding First-Time Obedience” – This Mom’s Notes session has helped thousands of parents around the world learn how to teach their kids to obey without arguing, and with no whining or complaining. Not only that, but your kids will learn how to do the tasks you tell them to do the way they are supposed to do them.
Sound too good to be true? This Mom’s Notes provides helpful age-appropriate guidelines for parents on how to work with their kids so they understand what obedience looks like, age-appropriate and why it needs to be a big deal to them to be obedient to you.
Understanding First-Time Obedience Pack
“Understanding the Funnel” – The funnel is a way of helping parents understand boundaries, how to put them into place, how to keep your child inside those boundaries and what to do when he/she climbs over or under them. Evaluating how to deal with freedoms and choices are included.
Use code FTO for $3 off the First-Time Obedience Pack
Use code Aug24 for $1 off Understanding the Funnel
Parenting Made Practical Podcasts
#36 HELP! My Kids Are Misbehaving Again! This podcast gives parents a practical plan to deal with kids that misbehave over, and over, and OVER AGAIN. Help your kids learn to make right choices so you can trust them to make good decisions.
#78 How to Stop Yelling and Threatening Your Kids – Yelling, threatening and reminding kids may feel good because it lets you blow off some steam. But really, does it do anything to change your child’s unruly behavior? Learn 5 key ways to train your kids to become responsible so you don’t need to be their responsibility reminder any longer.