Why Do We Lecture Our Kids?

Why Do We Lecture Our Kids?

by Joey and Carla Link

June 2015


When parents lecture, they think they are helping their children by reminding them of the training and teaching they have given them. We don’t think there is a parent alive who is going to say lectures get their child to make wise decisions and be responsible. Lecturing is just a polite way of yelling at your kids for not getting something done or for not doing it right.

Let’s look at what lectures don’t do.

  • Lectures do not give kids new information. Truly, all they hear is “blah, blah, blah.”
  • Lectures do not motivate kids to do the right thing. They do however motivate kids to do the wrong thing.
  • Lectures do not encourage kids to succeed. When you keep pointing out the wrong your kids are doing they lose their heart to do anything right.
  • Lectures do not give kids (especially teens) the freedom to make mistakes they can learn from. When legalistic parents lecture their kids in an attempt to prevent them from doing wrong by continually reminding them of their strict expectations, they are surprised to find their lectures prevent their kids from doing right.

When you lecture, your kids are unengaged because they know nothing is required of them. Kids keep a small sliver of their mind tuned in to what their parent is saying and let the other part of their mind wander wherever it wants to go. It is depressing to realize our kids don’t have to think hard about what we are saying to keep track of our words and intent, isn’t it?


We have been teaching, counseling and encouraging parents to stop lecturing, reminding and threatening their kids for many years. Parents tell us they appreciate our teaching on this topic and many of them have asked us to write a book on empowering parents to teach their kids to think for themselves which will stop parent’s need to lecture. We are excited to tell you that this book is finally written and it will be available by mid-June!

You can order yours now and get one of the first copies available (signed by Joey & Carla) at Parentingmadepractical.com. We can tell you that each chapter in this easy to read book is filled with practical examples, illustrations and applications to help parents stop lecturing and begin getting their kids to think and take responsibility for their own behavior.

Here is what one mom sent us about this teaching:

“Thank you for helping me see how to get out of the dead end alley we were in with our son.  I feel like we had a successful resolution yesterday unlike any in the past.  I used “yes” and “no” questions and lots of “why” questions, which did open up a discussion with him. We’re making progress.  Our son and I effectively used encouragement, asking for forgiveness, and consequences without lecturing!  I have removed some significant freedoms until ownership of some other responsibilities are reestablished.  Thank you for your encouragement. Interestingly, I saw some significant improvement in his sports last night too.  His play had been sloppy the last two weeks with lots of errors.” – A Grateful Mom

We want to encourage you that you too can be a parent who can begin changing your child’s behavior by getting to the core of what they think and believe. Finding out “why” they choose to make the decisions they do gives you perspective that enables you to get to their heart.

Order your pre-release copy Today!!


TAMING the LECTURE BUGJLink-LectureBug_Cov2

and Getting Your Kids to Think


Books are now available at the

Pre-Sale Price of $9.95

through June 20th, 2015