Dating, Ready or Not?

Joey and Carla Link

April 19, 2023

Are you ready for when your child gets asked out on a date? What about when your son or daughter wants to start dating? We don’t think any Christian parent truly is. When it comes to dating, do you have guidelines or a plan to work from? Or do you think you will wait and deal with it when the time comes? We have found that most parents have expectations of what their kids will or won’t do when they are on a date, but they have not talked about it with their kids before they get hit up by their kids with the big question, “So, can I go?”

When it comes to the physical part of dating, what do you think “too far” is? Have you talked to your teens about this? Do you have any idea what the young person your child is dating thinks “too far” is? Does your child think they should only date Christians? Why or why not? Is your son only interested in robotic research but is attracted to a gal who is the definition of a social butterfly? How should you talk the pros and cons of dating this person with your kid?

When I (Joey) was a youth pastor, I started working on how to help teens and college kids have confident dating experiences. I was surprised how few parents had talked to their kids about dating. This is why we put together a 2-part video with an accompanying workbook titled “Dating, Courting & Choosing a Mate, What Works?” Filmed before an audience of parents and teens, it’s designed to help both get on the same page of what would work for them in their dating experience.

We have heard from many families over the years how this 2-part video series helped them think through both courting and dating in a whole new way. Many have said they were thankful to see the differences in the differing standards families could have and how confusing it can be. Since the Bible doesn’t have a lot to say about dating itself, there is no right or wrong philosophy. The Bible does have a lot to say about sexual immorality, and about being spiritually mature, both of which we think are important issues to talk with your kids about before they start to date. Many families have told us this resource helped them find their own dating philosophy that would work for their teens and young adults.

One Dad wrote us the following note after going through the session because his teen daughters were being asked out.

“My wife and I were having trouble figuring out how to give our kids an overall picture of dating. Joey and Carla gave us a grounded, logical approach that goes way beyond just teaching them the importance of remaining pure. “Dating, Courting & Choosing a Mate, What Works?” shares 4 levels of getting to know the opposite sex and how your teens can determine what each level should look like in the relationship they are in, looking to us for guidance along the way. My wife and I appreciate understanding how we and our teens can work together to make wise decisions regarding who their life-mate will be.”

Whether you use this teaching or not, we hope you will get prepared with a blueprint for the framework you want to use when your kids get to be teenagers. You will want to be ready to help them learn how to go through the process of finding a life mate that will help them live for Christ and bring glory to God through both their dating and marriage relationship. The day will come when they come to you and say “So, can I go?”