What Love is Not

By Joey & Carla Link

October 11, 2023

What’s love got to do, got to do with it?

What’s love, but a sweet old-fashioned notion?

What’s love got to do, got to do with it?

Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?

Have you ever heard of the song “What’s Love Got to Do With It?” made famous by Tina Turner? “Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?” 

We all know that the bloom of love is why we got married to our spouses in the first place. We also all know that the bloom of love can wear off with the day in and day out ordinary life a marriage brings. We hurt each other and rarely apologize, so wounds fester and bleed poison into the marriage relationship.

So, before we talk about what love is, let’s talk about what love is not.

1.     Never show your appreciation for anything your spouse does for you.  (“Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” Philippians 2:4)

2.     Nag and whine when things aren’t going your way(“A nagging wife annoys like constant dripping.” Proverbs 19:13)

3.     Never admit that you are wrong, but be sure and rub it in your spouse’s face when he/she makes a mistake.  (“Love forgets mistakes, nagging about them parts the best of friends.” Proverbs 17:9)

These are 3 big ones. Everyone needs words of encouragement and praise. I (Carla) try to show Joey my appreciation for the little things he does for me so he doesn’t think I just save it for the big things. Think about each of these and if there is one you could work on, think of a way you can show your spouse the opposite is true.

We have written a Mom’s Notes presentation titled, “10 Ways to Fight Fair with Your Spouse”. Here’s point #1:

1.     Pick Your Battles Wisely. In the big picture, what are the real issues? 

·       Deal with one thing at a time.  Keep it simple. Don’t overwhelm your spouse.

·       Confront only when resolution is possible. 

·       Decide what the root problem really is.  

·       Whenever possible, overlook what can be overlooked. 

“A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.”

Proverbs 19:11

(Parts of this blog were taken from the Mom’s Notes “Is Your Spouse Your Best Friend?)

Would you like to know what the other 9 ways you can fight fair with your spouse are?

“10 Ways to Fight Fair with Your Spouse”





“Is Your Spouse Your Best Friend?”