Isabella Ruffo
June 11, 2025
My parents used the parenting principles they learned in the Growing Kids God’s Way parenting class to raise my brothers and I when we were growing up. One of the principles my parents were excited about but I wasn’t the biggest fan of was learning to obey immediately, completely, and without arguing or complaining. I did not enjoy having to stop what I was doing, go to Mom and say, “Yes, My Beautiful Mommy, I’m coming!” (My father chose that verbiage!) However, as I’ve grown older, I’ve come to realize the benefits and beauty of obeying first time, especially “immediately”.
The main benefit I have noticed is the attitude which first-time obedience cultivates in me. Because I have been taught to always be ready to put forth my full effort in whatever task I am asked to complete, when attempting new tasks at work, pursuing college options, and taking ownership for my own walk with God, it is now a habit of joyful surrender to do this.
Hearing many of my acquaintances and friends complain about what their parents ask them to do and the godly choices their parents want them to make has helped me to understand the great blessing I have been given.
My parents learned about temperaments from Mr. and Mrs. Link and as one with the Melancholy temperament, I struggle with letting my emotions run wild. However, because my parents drilled into me the fact that emotion does not take precedence over parental and biblical direction, I don’t have the same struggles that I see my friends encountering. I am not lost in a sea of trying to figure out my emotions as I choose to do my chores with a good attitude. I am not left to my own willful ideas and faulty thinking. I am not abandoned by my parents without direction as I attempt to forge my own immature, idealistic plans.
The habits of first-time obedience protect me time and time again and preserves the priceless relationship I have with my parents. I know these habits were instilled in me at great cost, frustration and sacrifice on their part. When I was younger, I used to smear my spit on my bedroom wall in anger at my mother for the lessons she patiently taught me. However, as I’ve grown older, my memories of pain and frustration are mostly lost, but what hasn’t become lost are the habits of immediate, joyful obedience.
Additionally, this mindset impacts my spiritual life. Just as I was taught to respond to my parent’s instruction right away, all the way, the happy way, when God tugs my heart through my conscience, my heart responds immediately, completely, without challenge, and without complaint. These habits of first-time obedience towards my parents have seamlessly transitioned to becoming holy habits of patient submission to God’s direction. Being taught to obey the authority I can see has allowed me to peacefully wait on God’s authority which I cannot see.
Additionally, being taught to obey my parents when I don’t understand or have all the information has allowed me to obey God when He doesn’t allow me to see the entire picture and situation, which is most of the time.
I am so thankful to my parents for their hard work in investing habits of joy-filled obedience in me. What I thought to be the bane of my existence when I was younger has become my protection, peace and enthusiasm. But I suppose I am only just beginning to see all the vast life-long benefits of first-time obedience!
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
“Honor your father and mother”—which is
the first commandment with a promise-
“so that it may go well with you and
that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
Ephesians 6:1-3
Have you listened to these Mom’s Notes presentations?
Understanding First-Time Obedience
This is the Mom’s Notes presentation Isabella talked about. It gives you helpful steps to start teaching your kids to come immediately, completely, and without arguing or complaining when you call them. We found that to be the foundation of obedience training with our kids.
A “Besetting Sin” is a sin pattern that can control a person to such an extent that it overshadows the good that is in his heart. This 3-part series deals with the most common sin pattern in each of the four temperaments.
Part 1 – The Choleric: “Training the Angry Child”
Part 2 – The Phlegmatic: “Dealing with a Child who is Stubborn and Unmotivated” The Sanguine: “Working with the Child who Lies”
Part 3 – The Melancholy: “Teaching Your Child to Deal with His Emotions”
“Working with Your Child’s Besetting Sin, Part 1”
“Working with Your Child’s Besetting Sin, Part 2
“Working with Your Child’s Besetting Sin, Part 3
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