What’s Obedience? – Parenting Made Practical

Joey and Carla Link

September 24, 2025

“Children obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.”

Colossians 3:20

Obedience, is doing what someone in authority over you tells you to do without arguing or complaining. Another way to think of obedience is “forced compliance”.

Sounds harsh, doesn’t it? But God knew when He gave us the freedom to make choices that we would need to be told to obey and taught to do it willingly in both action and attitude. It all started with Eve in the garden of Eden. She could eat anything she wanted and there was a bounty of good food available to her. There was an exception and the serpent talked her into eating from this tree, the one thing God told them not to do. (Genesis 3) Instead of focusing on all the things God had provided for them, which met all their needs and wants, they focused on the one thing they didn’t have, and we still do this today. That’s sad, isn’t it?

To be obedient is a learned skill. In working with families all these years, we have yet to see a child who was born with the ability to do what someone tells them to do, especially when they don’t agree with you.

But this verse does not go on to say, “unless you don’t agree with them, or don’t like the boundaries your parents put in place, or you have something better to do, or if you think it is your sibling’s turn.” It says to “obey your parents in everything.”

Society tells parents that you never ask your child/teen to do something they don’t want to do. You don’t ”tell” your kids what to do, you ask them. When you want or need them to do what you are asking them to do and they tell you “No”, parents argue and yell at them until the kid gives in or the parent gives up.

Children are to obey their parents like we are to obey God, the laws of our land, our employers and others in authority. Why does God think children need to be controlled by their parents? It is because they don’t have the wisdom, knowledge or experience to make right decisions for themselves. It is the same reason supervisors are needed on job sites and referees and umpires are needed in sports. The sin nature that lives in all of us is constantly telling us we don’t have to obey unless we get caught.

You may think you are the authority in your home, but let us ask you this: Do your children obey you with a good attitude 90% of the time? If not, they are in control. We were at an event recently where Christian families were enjoying time together. When a parent called one of their kids to come to them, what percentage of the time do you think, on average, that child went to their parent when they first heard their name called? We kept track and it rarely was above 25% of the time. 25% of the time. Does God consider that to be obedience, or does he let children off the hook when they are having fun and playing?

“Children obey your parents in everything for this pleases the Lord.”

Colossians 3:20

We don’t see any loopholes when God says, “in everything”, do you? So why do we give or let our kids take so many? Instead, this is where parents need to use “forced compliance”. How do you force obedience? God shows us throughout the Bible we do this by using consequences that will get their attention and motivate them to do the right thing the next time they are tempted to do what they want instead of what you or God wants.

“If you love me, you will keep my commandments.”

John 14:15

Have you listened to this Mom’s Notes presentation?

“THE MIDDLE YEARS TRANSITION” – (Ages 10-13 years)

After “The Terrible Two’s”, the next significant transition every child will go through is “The Middle Years”. This is a critical time of development morally, physically, socially and spiritually in the life of a child. Just when parents think things are going well, their child moves into the middle years (ages 10-13 yrs) and an entire new set of challenges present themselves. This presentation discusses how parents can know when they need to use their authority in dealing with their pre-teen, or when they can start moving to working with this child by the power of the parent’s relational influence. This Mom’s Notes will help parents get ahead of the curve before the Middle Years and their child meet eye-to-eye.

PDF & MP3

Use code Sept28 at checkout by September 28th, 2025 for $1 off each MP3 & PDF

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#16 “Can Your Child Handle Hearing NO?”

How many times a day do you tell each of your kids, “No”? Do your kids listen to you when you say “No”, or do they go on with what they are doing the minute you turn your back to them? Do your kids throw a fit when they don’t get their way? When you are in public, do they listen when you tell them “No” or do they think you’ll let it pass because people are watching? This podcast will give you tips on how to handle your child instead of letting him/her handle you!

#47 “The Choices Your Kids Make”

Teaching your kids to make wise choices is something you will deal with as long as they are under your authority. It is not an easy task, as Eve showed us in the garden of Eden (Genesis 3), because we all want to do what pleases us and choosing to be obedient rarely falls into that. In this podcast, Joey and Carla share ways for parents to work on this.