November 5, 2025
Joey and Carla Link
I remember a time when I reminded one of my girls once again to get her chores done and her response was, “I know, I know.” I thought if she already knew, why wasn’t it done? In the last 24 hours how many times have you heard your spouse or yourself remind your kids to do something they already knew they were supposed to do? Reminders are the go-to for parents when they see something that’s not done, but it is a bad habit that is not helpful in assisting kids to grow in maturity.
Recently I (Joey) had a parent ask “How can I get my kids to be more responsible at getting their chores done?” I asked this parent how many times she or her husband reminded them to do them every day. She sheepishly admitted they reminded them to do them all the time. I asked what motivated their kids to do their chores – just their reminders? When working with another family, Carla asked the mom how many reminders she or her husband had to give until their kids got around to doing their chores. Mom said her kids didn’t do them until she or her husband yelled at them.
Why would a child want to remember to do something they don’t want to do when their parents will remember for them? Every child wants to do his/her own thing and no child wants to be responsible until they have to be. It is the parents’ role to help their children mature and own their behaviors and responsibilities, and it will be work for both the parent and the child for this to happen.
As long as your kids can count on you to remind them, they don’t have to remember to do their chores, schoolwork, or to get ready to go to sports practice because they know you are going to do it for them.
For the next few days keep track to see how many times you remind each of your kids every day to get their stuff done and keep track of their things. Do you think your kids can’t remember on their own, or they don’t remember because they don’t have to? When you constantly remind your kids, you are telling them they don’t have to remember on their own because you are perfectly willing to do all their remembering for them.
About Reminders:
1. You have trained your kids to wait to be reminded. Your kids don’t remember because they don’t have to when they can count on you doing their “remembering” for them.
2. Give your kids consequences when they don’t “remember” to get things done. We can already hear many of you thinking, “Consequences don’t work.”
For consequences to work they must be painful. Trust us; taking away their phone for an hour is not painful. Taking it away for a week is.
Take away what they misused. Think outside the box. They spoke to you disrespectfully? Take away their freedom to talk.
3. Praise and encourage them when they get their stuff done with no reminders. When praise and encouragement are used effectively, they do wonders in the life of your child.
Stop reminding and your children will start remembering!
“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.
Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace
for those who have been trained by it.”
Hebrews 12:11
“Understanding First-Time Obedience” – Do your kids come to you when you call their name? Why don’t they? When you tell them to do something, do they stop what they are doing and do it right away? Why not? Do they do it with their best effort? Why not? Do they do it cheerfully? Why not? In this Mom’s Notes find steps you can take to get your kids to obey, right away, with their best effort, without complaining and without arguing.
Sale prices:
MP3: $4.99 Sale $3.99
PDF: $4.99 Sale $3.99
One side is for “Kids Under 5 Yrs. of Age” and the other side is for “Kids 6 Yrs. and Up” $8.00 SALE $4.99
Use code NOV9 at checkout by November 9th, 2025 for $1 off the MP3, PDF & Chart
Parenting Made Practical Podcasts
#2 Reminders, Reminders – Why Am I Always Reminding My Kids?
Parents get frustrated when they follow their kids around reminding them over and over to get their stuff done. Learn how you can stop reminding your kids and get them to start thinking and remember for themselves.
#68 Be a Confident, Self-Assured Parent
It takes confident parents to raise confident kids. Parents want their kids to have confidence, but how do parents become confident themselves? Learn more about being a confident, self-assured parent in this podcast.
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