Rich and Shelly Howard
April 30, 2025
When our kids were five and two years old, we learned about the parenting funnel in the Growing Kids God’s Way parenting class. This teaching put a spotlight on so many areas where our kids were “outside the funnel” that it was hard to know where to start. Our kids were outside the funnel on just about everything. It was a little overwhelming at first, until we went through the Mom’s Notes presentation, “Understanding the Funnel”. It got us going in the right direction. We worked on the issues where we as parents were most frustrated and were constantly correcting each of our boys, one or two at a time, getting them inside the funnel for each of them.
In particular, the “Funnel Summary” we got from Parenting Made Practical was something we used repeatedly to help us stay on track. During Couch Time, Rich and I would evaluate how it was going, using these three steps:
Step 1-Train: giving the moral reason why and working with them until they got it.
Step 2- Funnel: watching to see that they were characterized by right behavior and attitude.
Step 3- Freedom: watching to see if they could handle the responsibility and behavior on their own.
Then we would talk about what troublesome areas to tackle next using the “Getting Started” list. It made getting each of our boy’s funnels where they needed to be so much easier, and this methodical approach kept us from getting discouraged.
We explained to our kids the concept of a kite since a funnel was something they wouldn’t understand yet. It’s windy where we live, and flying kites was something we often did with our boys, so learning to manage their kites was like learning to manage their behavior and responsibilities. If the kite started to flop around and not fly well, we (mom and dad) would need to reel in some of the string (their freedoms) until they were under control, and then more string would be let out (more freedoms given out again).
This tangible example helped them to grasp the connection between responsibility and getting privileges/freedoms. And for them, knowing that they could earn back their freedoms by doing things the right way, prevented them from becoming exasperated and kept them working toward taking ownership over their attitude, behavior and choices. Our five-year-old totally got it and our younger son eventually understood when he got a little older.
The parenting funnel teaching from Growing Kids God’s Way and Joey and Carla’s “Funnel Summary” were invaluable tools for us from the time our kids were preschoolers all the way through the teen years. Getting our kids funnels (or kites) where they needed to be really transformed our parenting and blessed our kids because we had so much less correcting to do!
“My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching.
Bind them on your heart always; tie them around your neck. When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you. For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life.”
Proverbs 6:22-23
ind out more about what Shelly shared in this Mom’s Notes session,
“Understanding the Funnel”– The Funnel Summary is included with the PDF only.
This session gives a thorough understanding of the concept of the funnel, including guidelines for getting your child back into his “funnel”, evaluating areas when dealing with freedoms and choices, and how to correct for funnel issues.
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