Joey & Carla Link
July 15, 2026
“Why Do I Have to Do That?” Have your kids ever said that to you? We think almost every parent has heard this at one time or another. What your kids are trying to do with phrases like this is to try and get you, their parents to back off and you either give the task to someone else, or you do it instead.
One day you tell your child to get the dishes done. You hear a pot banging around in the sink and you know they are trying to show you their displeasure at having to do the dishes. Instead of saying “Why do I have to do that?”, they are telling you in non-verbal ways they don’t want to do this chore.
So, you ponder: How do you change this child’s bad attitude other than continuing to give him this chore week after week until he starts doing it in an appropriate way? You wanted to play some games with your kids tonight or do something fun with them, but with this kid’s bad attitude, you’re not going to be able to do that.
You heard in Sunday’s sermon Philippians 2:14 “Do everything without grumbling or arguing.” “Arguing, which is the same as quarreling and complaining, which is the same as grumbling” You start thinking you really need to deal with this child’s attitude or it will get way out of control.
Another way of looking at this is when your child debates, negotiates, and talks back to you, all these are ways he/she is trying to subtly tell you he is in control and you aren’t. He is trying to find a way to argue with you that won’t make you mad, because he doesn’t want to get into trouble, since that will get him consequences. He just wants to change your mind which gives him control.
Your child/teen may not be yelling or screaming at you when they are debating or negotiating with you, but their heart is still rebelling against your authority. These will only work in your kid’s favor if you let them, so be prepared for them and know they might use these tactics on you.
If you would like to dig deeper into how to deal with these kinds of issues, listen to our recent podcast titled “Why Do I Have to Do That?”. We share 8 strategies to deal with a child or teen that argues with you when you give him something to do.
Click here or search Parenting Made Practical
in your favorite podcast app to listen!
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