Joey & Carla Link
October 21, 2026
Every parent loves their kids, that is a given. But do your kids know how to love others, especially their siblings?
Many people have heard of “The Love Languages” book by Gary Chapman where he lists the 5 ways people need to be loved or “Love Languages.” They are:
1. Words of Affirmation or Encouragement
2. Quality Time
3. Acts of Service
4. Physical Touch
5. Giving and Receiving Gifts
We have often taught the love languages as a way for couples to meet each other’s needs. Understanding how a person needs to be loved in order to feel loved has saved many marriages, and it has also helped kids feel loved and understood by their parents.
We have often said, “No amount of discipline will be effective if a child’s emotional needs, especially their need for love, are not met.”
Similarly, if kids don’t learn to love others in the ways those people need to be loved, they can grow up selfish and self-focused, expecting others to love them and meet their needs without having to love others in return.
So, we ask: Do your kids truly know how to love others the way they need to be loved? Do your kids think about how a sibling needs to be loved, and do they work at demonstrating that love to them?
For instance:
- If a sibling is really busy, another sibling could offer to do some chores to help them out or do the dishes for them as an act of service.
- If a sibling is having a tough time because friends are saying hurtful things about them, a loving sibling could give them a hug (physical touch) or offer words of encouragement (words of affirmation), depending on what their love language is.
- If you are out shopping with a child and they know their sibling likes Tic Tacs, they could buy some with their own money—or ask you to buy them if they are younger and don’t have money—so they can give them to their sibling just because they know it would make them happy. This is one way a child can show love to a sibling.
- Another child who really wants to read alone could consider sacrificing some of their reading time to play a game with a sibling who enjoys quality time.
Teaching kids to step outside of their comfort zone, think about others, and do things for others is not natural for most kids; it has to be taught. If you want your kids to get along with each other and truly love one another, you need to teach and train them to love each other.
This is also great training for your kids to one day love a spouse in the way that person needs to be loved.
“Little children, let us stop just saying we love people; let us really love them, and show it by our actions.”
1 John 3:18
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