Eyes On Kids
Joey & Carla Link
March 21, 2018
Carla and I enjoyed watching the Winter Olympics in South Korea. We were in awe at how much control skiers have to have when flying down mountains at 90 mph! That’s crazy fast going down a mountain covered with snow and ice with no protection if they were to fall and hit the ice. How a 17 year old girl can work a 3 foot piece of board in the Half Pike competition, keeping her body under such complete control while doing stunts in the air to come back down perfectly aligned to land without falling is beyond my imagination. I could watch the replay over and over again and still be amazed.
Your kids have the exact same ability to control their hands, eyes, mind and emotions but it takes work for a teen to not lust after a girl he is attracted to, or want a car or really nice outfit she can’t afford. It takes a lot of control for a young child to not hit someone when they have been wronged, or for his older sibling to keep the words in his mouth he wants to spout back verbally in anger. Self-Control is one of the toughest character traits to govern, and yet one of the most essential. This is why we have recorded a new Mom’s Notes presentation titled “Kid’s, Get Self-Control!”
In this Mom’s Notes presentation, we go in-depth on 8 areas every child struggles to have self-control in. While there is a section in the presentation for kids under 5 years of age, this is some of the teaching from the section on having self-control of their “Eyes” for kids 6 years and older.
Eyes – Our eyes can get us in trouble in many ways. When children see something that looks good to them, they will find a way to get it. From driving down the road to the internet and social media things are revealed to your kids’ eyes that put inappropriate thoughts into their minds. Your kids will have no idea how to control wanting what they see without you teaching them how to control it.
How to teach it: When a child is in trouble, he won’t look at you. Wait for him to look your way and say “Now that you are looking at me…”
“Eyes on” is a term in government that means government officials are watching a specific case. In the same way, parents need to have “eyes on” their kids, watching to see what they are looking at to know how to train and help them.
The internet has made keeping track of what kids/teens are looking at a huge headache for parents. Parents need to have “eyes on” their kids internet use.
- What are they looking at?
- Listen to your kids when they talk to other kids. Are they sarcastic?
- The comments they make will tell you a lot about what their eyes are seeing.
- What are they showing each other on their phones?
What your kids see will go into their minds for them to think and meditate on. They will use the things they see to filter what they believe is right for them and that is what will go down into their heart for them to live by. So, if you want your child to learn to guard his/her heart, teach him how to guard his eyes.
- Be protective of what they watch on TV/Netflix
- Monitor what kinds of movies they watch or want to watch
- Be aware of where they go on the internet
- Know what words and phrases they use in written conversation in texts, snap chats and so forth
- Know what is in the books they read that aren’t schoolwork
- Know what his/her friends values are
One of the best ways to teach your child to control his/her eyes is to focus on something other than what has inappropriately caught his attention. Look closely to see what your child is seeing that is so attractive to him/her. They idolize a musician? Ask your child to list 3 things he knows about this musician he should model his life after and 3 things he shouldn’t. Do the same with sports heroes.
Have you asked your 6 year old how he can get the Lego© set he covets? Is he willing to do extra chores to earn money to buy it? Have you asked your 8 year old why he mimics the actions of the kids in school who are troublemakers? Have you ever asked your pre-teen or teen if he/she is tempted to cheat on tests at school and what they do when they are? Have you ever asked this same child if he has watched shows on television he knows you wouldn’t approve of because his friends are watching them? Does he know what he can say to his friends to get them off his back?
When you have conversations like this with your kids let them know in advance they are not in trouble, or they won’t open up to you. The point of these types of conversations is not to find out what your kids are doing behind your back. It is to work with them to find things they can do when they are strongly tempted to do the wrong thing. If they have something in mind they can do instead, chances are good they will.
Your teenagers can learn to control what their eyes see and the best way to show them how to do so is to let them see you controlling yours. In the conversations we just mentioned, tell what you do when you are tempted in the same ways.
The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness.
This is just 1 of 8 points you will find in the new Mom’s Notes presentation “Kid’s, Get Self-Control!” There are also 3 key points for parents of younger children. Available as MP3/CD PDF/Notes from our webstore ParentingMadePractical.com