By Joey and Carla Link
September 29, 2021

“You do you.” is a very popular saying today. It means you are going to do what is right for you, whether it is right for anyone else. You do what you want and what makes you happy. But what happens if your son sees his sister building a tower out of Lego© blocks and he thinks it would be fun (and right for him) to kick it over?! 

What is the result when what makes you happy infringes on the happiness of others? Sadly, in our culture today we are flooded with the message that says my happiness is more important than your happiness because if I don’t feel good about myself, I won’t be good to anyone else and you are to stand back and let me do it.

If you aren’t satisfied with yourself or with your kids, it really is a spiritual issue, not a pampering issue. We encourage you to ask God why He created you or your kids a certain way or why He isn’t changing your kid’s behavior. God can handle our deepest concerns and questions. 

So how do you help your kids be happy no matter what is going on in their lives?

The answer lies in the “Golden Rule” (Matthew 6:12) “Whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them.

Selfishly, for most of us, our motto is “whoever has the most money and power makes the rules we live by.” But Jesus says it doesn’t matter who has money, power, celebrity status or persuasive speech. Jesus says we are to treat others the way we want to be treated. This means:

  • No child wants someone to kick down the tower they spent hours making.
  • No child wants others to call them names, they want to hear nice things said about them.
  • No child wants another child to take advantage of them by trying to be first and push them out of the way to get there.

One of the best ways parents can teach kids this is to have them memorize this verse, and when you see your child is thinking more about himself than about his/her siblings or friends, ask him “Who you are thinking of right now?”

Ask this child what he/she would like their siblings to do for him/her, then ask him how he could turn it around and do it for their siblings instead?

 Instead of living by “you do you”, God says to live by “you do for others.” I like what Micah 6:8 says (International Children’s Bible)

 “Do what is right to other people. Love being kind to others.And live humbly, trusting your God.

Do your kids:

  • Do what God says the right thing to do is no matter what they think or want?
  • Love being kind to others, including their siblings?
  • Live humbly instead of being proud and arrogant and thinking they are the best?
  • Trust God to know what is best for them at all times and in all circumstances? 

Grade each of your kids (6 yrs. and up) individually on each of these things

  • Talk to them about what each of them means and what they look like. 
  • Ask each of them to give you an example for each one.

Do your kids know Jesus expects all of us to do what is right for others over our own selfish desires?

“Whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.”James 4:17 (ESV)