When Your Child Lies

Joey and Carla Link

October 2, 2024

There isn’t much that makes a parent as upset with their kids than when they catch them lying about something. Lying means you are trying to cover something up, usually to stay out of trouble. Believe it or not, there are some kids who are prone to lying because it is a weakness of the fun-loving, outgoing Sanguine’s temperament. You can thank Eve for that bite she took out of the apple that brought sin into the world.

Now, kids with the Sanguine temperament don’t always think they are lying because for them, it takes many forms that aren’t easily recognizable, even to themselves. This excludes the outright lie they know they are saying. It includes saying, “I don’t know”, “I don’t remember”, “I forgot”, “maybe” and so forth. We believe them and let them off the hook because after all, everyone forgets once in a while.

And this is where characterization comes into play. To be characterized by something means you do it over and over again. So, how often does your child with the Sanguine temperament say “I forgot” and these other phrases? Watch him/her and see. If he only uses it a couple times a week it may not be a problem. If he uses it several times a week then he is most likely characterized by using it knowing you are going to let him off the hook.

“I don’t remember” was a favorite phrase for one of our kids. Have this child sit in a chair doing nothing until he/she “does remember”. This child will sob pitifully that she truly doesn’t remember, but you will be surprised at how quickly she does indeed remember when she learns she has no freedom to do anything else until she does.

Those with the Sanguine temperament will avoid conflict at all costs and this is a major reason why they lie. They lie so you won’t get mad at them, they lie to get out of trouble, they tell half-truths when describing “What happened?” to you.

Your child needs to know if you can’t trust him/her to tell the truth then you have to guess when he is and when he isn’t, and if you think he is lying he will get the consequence for lying even if he was telling the truth. There is only one way to fix this, and that is to work towards being characterized by telling the truth.

We are of course talking about kids 8 and above when it comes to working with them to change the characterization of their lying. Until then, when you know your child has outright lied, give them a consequence for it.

“The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.”

Proverbs 12:22

Working With Your Child’s Besetting Sin Series

Part 1

The Choleric

Learning to Deal with Anger

Part 2

The Phlegmatic

Learning to Deal with Stubbornness and a Lack of Initiative

The Sanguine

Learning to Deal with a Child That Lies

Part 3