Joey & Carla Link
June 17, 2026
Summer is upon us and kids often spend their days fighting with each other. That is what kids tend to do when they have too much unstructured time together. You have gotten to be an expert on telling them to settle down and keep their hands to themselves. But have you ever considered what would help your child choose to do the right thing? You can try bribing them, negotiating with them, or pleading with them. All of these have the same result, which is you offer an incentive if they comply. They might choose to, if the incentive is something they want. The problem with this is the incentives have to get bigger and better to continue to be effective. What else is there? Why did they choose the wrong path in the first place? What was so appealing to them about it?
In 1 Timothy 6:9 we are told that it is our own desires that make us fall into temptation.
“But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare,
into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.” (ESV)
What would snare a child? Would a kid know what to “be rich” even looks like? Do you think a 7 yr. old would know what “senseless and harmful desires” are?
If you explained to a 7 yr. old that to “be rich” means to have lots of toys and video games, do you think he would want it? What about if you told him/her a “snare” traps you with a rope or wire and ties you up so you can’t escape? Do you think he would avoid doing something that would cause that? Or things that could hurt him? Or things that he/she knows aren’t good choices, like not picking up his room when you tell him to? I would look up all the main words in 1 Timothy 6:9 and explain the definitions in ways a 7 yr. old would understand.
What can help your child overcome these temptations? What can help your kids turn from the pull of their friends, phones, social media, television, video games and so forth? What can help them when they are discouraged and defeated because they keep getting in trouble for doing the same old thing over and over and over again?
In Judges 20 the children of Israel were tired of fighting. These were God’s chosen people.
“But the Israelites encouraged one another and again took up their positions.”
Judges 20:22 (NIV)
If you have used lots of consequences with your kids and see no difference in their behavior, how about taking a different approach and try encouraging them? Do you know encouragement means “to give courage to”? If your kids are struggling in one particular area, perhaps they need to be given courage to do the right thing instead of going along with the crowd.
Do you know when your kids need encouragement from you instead of another lecture? Think about these:
- When he/she is too tired and overwhelmed to finish the paper that is due the next day for school
- When he/she is too busy to focus on the things that have to be done
- When he/she doesn’t think he is smart enough to do the school assignment
- When he/she doesn’t know how to complete the task
How do you verbally encourage your child/teen in the way they are to go? Something like:
- I know you can do it!
- What do you think you should do? That’s a great idea. Go for it!
- When you choose to obey, you always feel better.
- How much happier are you when you are not in trouble?
- When you make the right choice, you have more fun.
- I would be happy to help you with this project. Just let me know when you are ready to finish it yourself.
How do you encourage your child/teen with action instead of words? When our kids were working on studying for finals plus trying to finish papers, I told them I would do their chores that week. That’s one way – step in and take things off their plate until they catch up.
Encouraging your kids to do right is a great tool in training them in the way they should go. Once they understand how it looks when you encourage them, it is important for them to start to encourage others, starting with their siblings. Encouraging others is not only a way to get a child’s focus off themselves and on to others, it’s a powerful force to do what is right. The more encouraging they are, the more thankful they will be!
“Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration,
encourage one another,
be of one mind, live in peace.
And the God of love and peace will be with you.”
2 Corinthians 13:11 (ESV)
If we are not encouraging our kids, how are they going to know how to encourage others? What are you doing to train your kids to become encouragers?
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