Joey & Carla Link
August 12, 2026
Do your kids ever try to expand their freedoms and do things you don’t think they’re ready to handle? Maybe it’s something as simple as a four-year-old trying to get something out of the refrigerator when you haven’t given them the freedom to get into it on their own.
When your child tries to do something you don’t think they are ready or skilled enough to handle, it may be because they don’t yet have the knowledge, wisdom, or life experience to understand everything that comes with that new freedom. These are areas of their life where they haven’t yet earned the right to make decisions on their own.
A phone is a great illustration of this. Once your kid/preteen/teen gets a phone, they think they have all the freedom that comes with one. Even if you told them to only call you or certain family members, they may think they can call and text all their friends, as well as do everything their friends do with their phones. You tell them “no internet searching”. They even say yes Mom/Dad. But do they have the self-control to stick to that rule when their friends encourage them to look something up online?
New things bring new freedom opportunities, and those opportunities reveal how much self-control, obedience, and responsibility your child has developed. The question is: If your kids don’t follow your instructions or give in to the temptations of their friends, will you have the courage to hold them accountable to the boundaries you’ve established?
If you waver on holding to your family’s standards, your kids will quickly begin establishing their own standards of what they believe is right and wrong based on the freedoms they take for themselves.
One of the best pieces of parenting advice we can give you, is when you give your child something they really want or you think they need to have, surround it with boundaries so it will be used properly.
When they demonstrate they can handle this new independence, you can open the door to greater freedoms by gradually loosening the restrictions you’ve placed on them.
Be aware – once your child is given freedoms he/she has earned, he will start taking them in other areas he hasn’t earned them in as well. It’s always easier to open the freedom’s up then restricting them and pulling them back in! Pulling freedoms back from your kids can often lead to frustration and rebellion because they don’t understand why something they were previously allowed to do is suddenly no longer permitted. They are disagreeing with what you are saying and the decision you are making.
That’s why it’s important to increase freedoms gradually and intentionally. Give your children opportunities to prove they can handle more responsibility before giving them more independence.
James 5:12 says “let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, or you will be condemned.”
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Click the title or search Parenting Made Practical in your favorite podcast app to listen!