Joey & Carla Link
November 4, 2026
There are few things more frustrating than giving your child an instruction and having them say something back that feels like a challenge or an argument.
Every loving parent should be willing to listen when their child wants to talk. This is one of the ways you build trust and develop a strong relationship with your child.
But how do kids build trust with you, Mom and Dad, when they argue instead of doing what you tell them? For example, you give them an instruction, and they agree to do it. But when you follow up later, it still hasn’t been done! If you can’t trust your child to follow through on your instructions, then who is really in charge in your home, you or your child? Kids may not realize it, but they need to understand that following your instructions can sometimes make the difference between life and death.
Many parents have their kids play in the yard while they are doing yard work. Do your kids know what their boundaries are in the yard? Or do they run out to the street when you’re not looking?
Your child’s willingness to do what you say, when you say it, is more important than winning an argument or negotiating over your instructions. If for no other reason, it is essential for your child’s health and safety.
Every parent should listen when their child wants to talk. However, when you give your child a direction or expect them to obey, you should also expect a positive, respectful, and obedient response, such as, “Yes, Dad. I will do it.”
In this situation, Dad should follow up his instruction with a clear boundary: “Do not go past the sidewalk.” He should expect to hear, “Yes, Dad,” rather than, “But, Dad, I only wanted to see what it looked like.” That is where parents can get drawn into arguing and negotiating with their children about how far they are allowed to go. Don’t take the bait!
I was in a local store one day, waiting in line to check out. I knew the mom who was standing in front of me, and her eight-year-old daughter who was asking for candy. Mom said yes to one kind but no to several others. Knowing what we teach, Mom finally realized she didn’t need to keep negotiating with her daughter. She told her, “I will hear a ‘Yes, Mom.’”
The eight-year-old girl sadly responded, “Yes, Mom,” walked away, put the candy back, and didn’t ask again.
Listening to your child is important, but children also need to learn that following their parents’ instructions comes first. When you give a direction, they should respond respectfully and obey rather than argue, negotiate, or challenge your authority. Once they have followed your instruction, you can take the time to listen to what they have to say.
“Children obey your parents in everything”
Colossians 3:20
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Parenting Made Practical Podcast
“Why Won’t My Kids Do What I Tell Them To Do?”
When you tell your kids to do something do you expect them to do it? Learn what you can do to get your kids to listen to you and to do what you tell them to do.
Click the title or search Parenting Made Practical in your favorite podcast app to listen!