Joey & Carla Link
September 9, 2026
On December 4, 2024, Luigi Mangione shot and killed Brian Thompson in Midtown Manhattan. Twenty months later, on August 14, 2026, Mangione pleaded guilty in federal court. During his statement, he said, “I knew what I was doing was illegal,” and “I understood that my actions would place him in fear of death or bodily injury.”
After having 20 months to think about what he had done, there is a significant difference between saying, “What I did was illegal,” and saying, “What I did was wrong.”
This is similar to what can happen when you catch your child doing something wrong. You may require them to sit and think about what they did before coming back to apologize. But there can be a big difference between a child simply saying, “I’m sorry,” and truly admitting, “I was wrong.”
Sometimes, when kids say, “I’m sorry,” they may simply be acknowledging that they got caught or that they broke a rule. In their hearts, they may know what they did was wrong, but they don’t want to fully admit it because they know you may expect more from them.
You may expect them to change not only their actions but also their attitude. You want them to take ownership of what they did wrong so they can learn from it and choose not to repeat it.
But isn’t that exactly what we want as moms and dads? We want our children to own their behavior, to admit that what they did was wrong, understand that they shouldn’t have done it in the first place, and make the decision to change their behavior moving forward.
I remember one Saturday morning when my son was a teenager. He had a bad attitude and came to apologize for it. But I could hear in his voice that his heart wasn’t truly contrite. I wasn’t convinced that he had really changed his attitude or that he wouldn’t repeat the same behavior later that day or week.
So, I challenged him about his attitude and told him I expected a humble and sincere apology. But that wasn’t what I received. I finally said, “I don’t believe you really mean it or that you’re committed to changing your behavior.” I sent him back to his room to think it through.
This happened three more times. By the fourth time, I could tell the difference. He wasn’t simply trying to get out of trouble so he could get on with his day. He truly meant his apology and was willing to work on changing his behavior.
That’s the difference we need to help our children understand.
If Manganioni somehow got out of prison from his confession, I am not convinced he wouldn’t kill someone else if he had issues with them. Because he really only compared murder to a simple speeding ticket as only being illegal instead of admitting it was wrong.
Mom and Dad, help your kids see the real offense in what they have done when they get in trouble. Teach them to go beyond simply saying, “I’m sorry.” Help them learn to admit when they were wrong, take responsibility for their actions, and change their thinking and behavior so they don’t continue making the same mistakes again and again.
The goal isn’t simply to get our children to apologize. The goal is to help them develop a heart that recognizes wrongdoing, takes responsibility, and chooses to change.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
I John 1:9
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Taming the Lecture Bug A helpful book for parents to stop reminding, threatening and lecturing their kids and get them to start thinking and take ownership of their responsibilities and behaviors. By Joey and Carla Link Use code AUGUST13 at checkout by 8/13/26 for $2 off |
Parenting Made Practical Podcast
Parents get frustrated when kids say they are sorry and 5 minutes later do the do the same thing again. Learn why kids do this and what parents can do to get their kids to stop doing the wrong they say they are sorry for.
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