Joey & Carla Link
June 3, 2026
Our oldest grandson recently turned 15! Where did the time go?! Now Summer is here and you think you have time to kick back and relax, and you do, if you make time for it. You also have to make time for sport’s practices for the teams your kids are on. When you add in all the rest of the things your kids and you do, you barely have time to weed the garden you put in.
Your kids/teens behavior is wearing on you and your spouse, but the most you find time to do is remind or lecture them. You ask your spouse why you both keep doing this, as you know it doesn’t work. So, what can you do to see their bad behavior and attitude change before another summer slips away?
If you are feeling this way, we want to give you a boost of encouragement to get back on track. First, you have to make time for character training. In last week’s blog, “Pointing Your Kids to The Good”, I (Carla) mentioned we had one weekly non-negotiable time for each of our kids we called “Heart-training”. Having that time on the calendar kept us consistent.
Secondly, and I think I mentioned this last week too, keep your training ‘to-do’ list narrowed down to working on one thing at a time. Neither you or your kids can be consistent when you are trying to tackle too many things at a time, and for parents, if you have 3 kids you are already working on each of their “one thing”.
Third, you aren’t going to be consistent unless you have a plan for what training your children in God’s character looks like. Think in terms of character traits God values.
Do you have a firm idea in your mind of what should be a part of this training? The following are 3 steps to a heart-training plan.
Here are three steps to training:
1) You have to impart knowledge. Your kids need to know why this is important to you and why it is important to God, and why it needs to be important to them. Kids don’t remember lectures. Come up with creative ways (I know, this takes time!) to teach them the moral character traits that are instilled in hearts that live for Christ. After you have been doing this for a while, have your kids come up with the way they are going to work on it. For preschoolers and early elementary you may need to help them, for older kids they can come up with something and share it with you.
2) Knowledge alone will not motivate children to work on a character trait. They need the practical application that goes with the knowledge. In other words, they need to know how to do what you are teaching them. You tell your 3-yr old to be kind to her brother. Do you think she really knows what “be kind” looks like? Instead, ask her to give you one way she could show kindness to her brother. These types of questions will show you what is in the heart of your child.
3) Children need motivation to follow through with putting what you are teaching them into practice. Motivation has two sides. “The first is to praise them when they do what you are working on with them, such as learning to be patient. The second is consequences. Before you and your spouse start working on a character trait with your child, have in mind what appropriate consequence can be applied when necessary.
“Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.”
Proverbs 29:17
Knowledge, application and appropriate motivation are the three-steps to effectively train your children, and all three are required to do the job successfully. Step back and evaluate the level of obedience each one of your children have. If it is not better than 75%, then come up with a plan to work on that with this child. Sit down with your spouse and come up with a list of three things for each of your children that need work and start with #1.
Now that we look back at our parenting years, we would rate the time we took to proactively train our children in Godly character as one of the best things we did. All 3 of them love the Lord with all their hearts and are teaching their children to do the same.
“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”
3 John 1:4
For more information on what we did with our kids’ weekly non-negotiable heart training time, the Mom’s Notes ‘Using the Bible in the Instruction and Training of Your Children” is available at our website. And it’s on sale this week. More info below!
| ON SALE! |
| Using the Bible in the Instruction and Training of Your Children In this Mom’s Notes presentation we share more on what we did with our kids’ weekly non-negotiable heart training time. We highly encourage you to start when your kids are preschoolers and continue until they graduate high school, but no matter how old your kids are, now is a good time to start. MP3 Use code BIBLE at checkout by 6/7/26 for $1 off the MP3 & PDF |
Parenting Made Practical Podcasts
#49 The Erosion Principal = Melancholy / Phlegmatic
Click the title or search Parenting Made Practical in your favorite
podcast app to listen!