Joey & Carla Link
May 27, 2026
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Proverbs 4:23
Suppose you go to a parenting conference and hear it said that you need to go beyond dealing with your kids’ misbehaviors and get to their hearts instead. How do we get to the hearts of our kids and why is this so important?
We get to their hearts by pointing them in the good direction that we want them to go. We get our kids/teens to focus on doing what is right instead of what is wrong, by elevating the good that we want them to use rather than focusing on the bad that we see in their behavior. When parents are more occupied with calling out their child/teen’s negative behavior versus elevating good behavior, their bad behavior will be what they are focused on instead of their good. When parents don’t encourage their kids to work on the good things they should do, kids don’t think about the good when making a decision and as a result these decisions cause moral confusion.
What direction are we pointing our children to? Pointing them to the good that you want to see in them takes a bit of planning on your part. When you are pointing them to the good, you are getting them to be focused on the Godly character that is in their hearts. For example, if your children are fighting and arguing, don’t say, “Can’t you two stop fighting?” Try saying instead, “Can you two agree to share?”. We started seeing a real difference in the attitudes and behaviors of our children when we made this switch in our parenting.
What good thing should you be pointing your kids to? That depends on each child. Pick something that is a Godly character that they are weak in. It is unlikely it will be the same for each of your kids. I would pick one for each kid and plan to work on it for a month. I scheduled a non-negotiable time once a week with each kid for this heart-training. I planned a Bible story twice a month on the consequences of wrong behavior, like being harsh, and twice a month I chose one on the blessings of being compassionate and caring for others. How long did we keep pointing them to the character issue we had picked for each of them? We started with a month because we wanted it to become a habit, but we stayed with it until we saw victory in how they were handling it.
What makes a car go other than its tank being full of gas? You have to put it in gear. Think of one’s heart as the gearshift for life. The choices you make are a reflection of what’s in your heart. From the foundation in your heart comes the decisions you make, good or bad. This is why you want to give your attention to working with your child to understand that what he thinks and feels comes from the biblical teaching in his heart.
“My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments,
for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you.
Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart.
So, you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.”
Proverbs 3:1-7
| ON SALE! |
| Using the Bible in the Instruction and Training of Your ChildrenIn this Mom’s Notes presentation we share more on what we did with our kids’ weekly non-negotiable heart training time. We highly encourage you to start when your kids are preschoolers and continue until they graduate high school, but no matter how old your kids are, now is a good time to start! PDFMP3 Use code BIBLE at checkout by May 31,2026 for $1 off the MP3 & PDF |
Parenting Made Practical Podcasts
Click the title or search Parenting Made Practical in your favorite
podcast app to listen!