Joey & Carla Link
May 13, 2026
A family is at a theme park with lots of roller coasters and rides. The kids are so excited, as soon as they get through the front gate, they run off to their favorite ride or the first one they see. They might have talked about where they want to go first and headed there while dad is looking at the theme park map and mom is yelling the kids’ names to get them to come back to where their parents are. If the kids don’t come back, mom grabs dad and runs after them, trying to corral them or at least catch up to where the kids are.
This is what these parents do all day long. They attempt to placate the child who is whining because he/she isn’t getting his own way, and as soon as they do that, another starts arguing that what they gave their sibling to quiet him down isn’t fair. Nothing was good enough for the kids.
Mom brought a picnic lunch because the food at the theme park was so expensive, but the kids wanted to eat park food. They all wanted a funnel cake, but when dad got 2 of them for everyone to share, that wasn’t good enough because they each wanted their own. On the drive home at the end of the day, mom and dad looked at each other exhausted as they listened to their kids argue about what movie to watch on the way home. They gave up intervening as they had been begging them to get along all day.
At what point parents, do you stop running interference for your children and begin training them? We are so focused on other things or pressing matters of the moment, we don’t take the time to teach our children. Placating them is much easier, or so we want to believe.
Many parents don’t like the word “train” when it comes to parenting, yet it fits because that is what we are supposed to be doing with our kids. Teaching them isn’t enough. That’s mostly just passing on information. Training is a lot more involved than this. It might surprise you to know we think the children in this family that went to the theme park were trained. They were trained to do whatever they wanted to do,
for as long as they wanted to do it until someone in authority intervened.
What does biblical training look like? Training needs to start at home with teaching. ‘On-the-spot’ training is rarely successful. So we would not have advised these parents to demand their kids obey them at the theme park unless they obey them at home. If any or all of your kids do not do what you say the way you want it done at least 75% of the time at home, then we highly recommend stepping their obedience training up this summer.
Even if they obey you 50% of the time, a pre-activity warning will most likely work for them. A pre-activity warning is asking your kids questions about how they are supposed to act before you go somewhere. When our kids were growing up we used pre-activity warnings on our way to church, the store, the park and anywhere else we went.
Pre-activity warnings are not times for lectures. You are getting them to remember the rules for themselves, not lecturing them after they have gotten into trouble.
- Ask questions. “We are on our way to church. What type of people do you look for in the hallways that you need to be extra-careful around?” (Elderly, disabled, mom with little kids) “What are you going to do if other kids are running around?”
- Pre-activity warnings work for young children too. When our young grandchildren are visiting, before we leave the house to go to the park nearby we ask them what the “Park Rules” are. They will tell us they must hold our hands until we tell them they can run and play. If they are riding their bikes they must stay on the sidewalk where we can see them and they can’t cross a street without our permission. Keep your rules simple.
Letting your kids know what your expectations are before an activity eliminates the need for correction and your kids get the blessing of praise and encouragement.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9
| ON SALE! |
| “Fundamentals” discusses ten often overlooked principles such as meeting your child’s love language, giving him/her praise and encouragement and more, giving fresh, practical tips for applying them. “Fundamentals” is the first part of the 3-part series “Finding the Balance in Biblical Parenting”. “Understanding First-Time Obedience” is Pt. 2 and Pt. 3 is “Discipline Issues”. They can be purchased as MP3’s and are available individually or in the series here. MP3PDF Use code MAY2026 at checkout by 5/17/26 for $1 off each MP3 and PDF |
Parenting Made Practical Podcasts
“Reminders, Reminders – Why Am I Always Reminding My Kids?”
Click the title or search Parenting Made Practical in your favorite
podcast app to listen!