Joey & Carla Link
May 20, 2026
School is getting out soon and for most of you, your kids will be home for the summer. Bickering, arguing, whining, complaining and so forth tend to be a part of every kid’s day, especially when they are with other kids, and even more so when these other kids are their siblings.
How do you get your kids to focus on living and speaking in good ways? We called it “elevating the good”. When one of our kids was being a negative instigator with his/her siblings, I (Carla) would call this child to me and say, “How can you elevate the good”? When I got a response like “I could share my toy with my sister”, I would say “Are you willing to do that?” If my child wasn’t willing to share, he/she got to sit and do nothing until they were.
Elevating the good is pointing your child in the direction you want him/her to go.
Instead of saying, “Stop hitting your brother!” try, “Tell me one way you can be nice to your brother.” Pointing them to the ‘good’, is to get into the habit of saying the opposite of the wrong thing they are doing.
Instead of this:
Stop running in the house!
Try this:
Please walk in the house, you can run outside.
Instead of this:
Why can’t you do what I tell you to do?
Try this:
I asked you to vacuum the family room. When will you get that done?
Instead of this:
We are late again, why can’t you get your stuff done on time?
Try this:
Make a list of all the things you need to do to get ready to leave the house in the morning. Write down how much time it will take to complete each thing on the list and add up all the times. That is how early you need to get up.
Look for the good your kids are doing and encourage them by telling them you saw it, and it made yours and God’s hearts smile. Be sure and tell Dad so he can praise them too.
“In the same way, let your light shine before others,
so that they may see your good works
and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”
Matthew 5:16
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Parenting Made Practical Podcasts
#98 Celebrating the Good Your Kids Do
It’s one thing to have kids, it’s another to enjoy them, especially when you get frustrated with them. Learn to celebrate what makes each of your kids unique and the good that they do instead of always focusing on the bad.
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